A Visit to America
by FlyingPurpleTaco
Summary: England visits America. That should go as well as anyone could expect. But what happens when he meets...the states! And wait, what's Canada doing there? Read and find out! Fluff! Lots of fluff! Changed to T because some of the states have foul mouths.
1. Chapter 1

A Visit to America

England looked at the door in front of him. _Why am I here_, he thought to himself. _Especially today of all days. I should go home. Find myself a cup of tea and forget I even came here. That's what I'll do. Right now. _Yet despite all this, he knocked on the door.

To clarify this a bit, England was visiting America's house on the 4th of July. His birthday. His…independence day. It was England's way of saying he was getting over it. Even if he really wasn't.

The door opened. England looked up at the man, expecting America. But it wasn't the annoying American. This man was wearing a massive cowboy hat, a bolo tie, very Western looking jeans and a shirt, cowboy boots, and a large, obvious belt buckle. He had America's blue eyes, but dark brown hair, and very tan skin.

"Who are you?" England asked warily.

"Well, howdy there, partner! I'm Texas! Come on in, come on in!" he-Texas-insisted. He voice had a weird type of twang to it, almost what could be described as a country accent. It was all very strange. He ushered England inside quickly, slamming the door behind him. _Well there goes my hope for escape, _he thought miserably.

Texas about near dragged to him to a large living room that currently no one was occupying. Of course, England had been to America's house plenty of times, but had never once-not _once_- met someone named Texas. And then a dark realization came upon England. Wasn't Texas, on of America's…_states?_

"Excuse me," he said, quite rudely interrupting the man, "what is your name?"

The Texan raised an eyebrow. "Didn'tya hear me? It's Texas."

"Yes, yes, I know that, but what's your human name?" England said.

"Oh, it's Noah. Noah Jones. Anyway, as I was sayin'-"

But England didn't hear him. He was too lost in his own misery. Jones? He was most definitely related to America then. That meant there were _two_ of them… no wait. If there was a Texas, did that mean that there were _fifty_ of them? Suddenly, England had to fight the urge to vomit. _Fifty states? And what if they were all exactly like him?_

"Will you get outta here?!" Texas yelled, shaking England from his horrific thoughts.

He seemed to be yelling at a girl who had entered the room. She looked a lot like Russia would if he were a girl. Her hair was a silvery white, and her eyes were a deep purple. She wore a tanish fur coat, gloves, and knee high boots, that seemed to be made of some kind of skin. She also was abnormally tall. She looked like she might have a calm demeanor, but that might just have been because she was next to Texas.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude," she said quietly and quickly exited the room. England frowned at Texas, who was being quite polite until then.

"Who was that? And why were you so rude to her?" he blurted out.

"That was Alaska. I don't like her at all," he said sharply.

"Alright then. I think I'll be excused now." England left the room, looking for the girl. He didn't like the Texas bloke one bit. From what little he had listened to what he was saying before Alaska had entered the room, he seemed obnoxious, and much too much like America.

Finally he found Alaska. She was in a side room, admiring a hockey stick.

"Um…hello there," he ventured. Alaska looked up at him.

"Hi."

** Yeah there's the first chapter. I think updates will occur every Saturday. A little background on something… Texas doesn't like Alaska because she's a bigger state than he is and he has to be the best of everything. I'll probably get back to him later in this fic.**

** So, what did you think? I'm not very good at writing humor stories, so that's why it might not seem all that funny. I'm a little out of my element here. Oh well, I'm just seeing where this will go. Thanks for reading.**

** DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia in any way, shape, or form. *deep sigh* but I do own all fifty of the states in this fic. Oh yes, if I get far enough into this, there will be all fifty of them.**

** By the way, I like reviews…**


	2. Chapter 2

The silence stretched out. Tired of it, England asked "So…why does Texas dislike you so much?"

Alaska chuckled. "Texas is the second largest state, after me. That really doesn't sit well with him. He has this mindset that he must be the best of the best, in every way possible," she explained. "And he's not the best when he's smaller than me."

England stared at the girl. She spoke with such a sweet-ish (yet slightly cool) tone, and wasn't nearly as annoying as America or Texas. _So she isn't a Jones then, right? _England wondered. There was just no way possible. But he needed to know. "Pardon my asking, but could you tell me your human name?"

"It's Zoë, Zoë Jones. I suppose that you asked because you've met America himself?" Alaska replied easily.

England nodded sheepishly. "Yes, you're just so unlike him that I figured you couldn't be related to him."

"And who would you be?" she asked.

"I'm England. Or Arthur Kirkland. Whichever."

Alaska raised an eyebrow. "England? Like the one who raised America way back in the colonial days?" He flinched but she continued, "If you're England, what are you doing here on the 4th?"

"Um…um…I wanted to wish him a happy birthday?"

She just shrugged. "Okay, but I've heard from America that you don't like him very much. And why would you come now, when there's going to be some kind of party he's planning? Why would you want to-"

Alaska was cut off by a sudden bang as both doors opened. A young man entered. He didn't have a very memorable face. Brown hair and brown eyes. Nothing out of the ordinary, unlike Alaska's height and Texas's…_Texas_.

"Alaska, why are you in here? And who's that?" he said, pointing at England. "I've never seen him before, and what's up with his huge eyebrows? Their weird."

"That was rude, Ohio. I'm very sorry England; he's just a bit too honest. And, Ohio, you don't just tell people that they have huge eyebrows. Even though he really does. Again, sorry, England, but you do."

England waved her off. After years of ridicule from all the other countries, his eyebrows really didn't matter to him. "Ohio. That's a state here, right? What happens there?"

Ohio sighed. "Not much. There's a show called Glee that's supposedly set there, but it's really filmed in California. So, nothing much. It's okay. Hardly anyone here recognizes me, so I wouldn't expect a foreign country to either."

"Ah." So Ohio was like that other country…Can...Canda…Candania? Yes, Candania, that was it. He was like that, except the United States version. "Well, it's been lovely chatting with you two, really, but I must be going. I see this was the wrong day to visit. Must be going now. Good-bye." He turned around and quickly ran out the door. He needed to get away, and out of the house.

_Alaska, Ohio, Texas, _thought the nation, _I really need to get out of this place before I meet any more of them. I just don't think I can handle it. _He rushed down hallways, turned corners, and went up and down flight of stairs, just desperately trying to find his way out. The house was just so damn huge! England would hate to admit this, but maybe he should find America…

BAM! He crashed into-surprise-another state. He supposed. He had really never met any of them, which was still rather strange. Why hadn't America introduced them before? England had visited his house many times, and they were never there before.

Anyway, this one was a teenage boy,with a very unnatural, orange tan, with jet black hair that had one, maybe two, bottles of hair gel put into it. His eyes were blue, but not like Texas or America's. They were much darker than that. And he looked very angry.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" he shouted. "You gotta lot of nerve running into me like that!"

England stared at him blankly. "And you would be…?" he asked, a bit hesitant.

His eyes narrowed and he looked at England suspiciously. "What, you got shit for brains? I'm New Jersey…asshole."

***DISCLAIMER* I do not Hetalia in any way, shape or form. *goes off to cry* But I do own all these OCs and that makes me a little bit happier.**

**On another note, how many people in the US of A can actually name all fifty of their states. I certainly know I can't, but really, how many do you think? Just something for you to think about. Good-bye.**

** I like reviews…. They are much appreciated. **

**And also, I have decided that I will be updating every Saturday. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh…um, terribly sorry. I was just about to head the other way, as it was," England said, backing up quickly. He _really _needed a way to get out of here. If he stayed in that place any longer, or at least ran into anymore, he felt as though his head might explode.

"What, are you chicken? Come at me bro, come at me!" New Jersey said, angrily.

England just stared at him. _What the bloody hell? _It took several more seconds for it to actually dawn on him that this state wanted to _fight_ him. Or maybe he was just bluffing. No one would know, because England just turned the other way and took off.

_Okay, I need to go about this logically, _he thought to himself, _I took this turn here, and then this set of stairs, and then this corridor… or was it that one? Oh or maybe it was- _

BAM! For the second time that day, England crashed into someone. He rubbed his head, opened his eyes, completely prepared to turn and run when he saw…America. Suddenly, a wave of anger hit the British man full force. He had been _trying _to be polite and nice to the American and he walks into a nut house instead! And why in all of hell had America never mentioned his states?!

"America! What the bloody hell is going on here?! What is with all the states? Since when did they have personifications as well, and _why _didn't you tell me about it?! Don't you think it would've been nice to warn me?! Say something, asshat!" England ranted.

The nation looked at him, seemingly stunned. "Um…I'm Canada," he said timidly.

England's anger vanished, quickly replaced with embarrassment at once again mistaking the quiet nation for his obnoxious brother. He really needed to get a grip on that.

"Oh. Sorry, Canada. I'm just really irritated. Well, more than usual, anyway," England explained.

"So, you've met the states then?" Canada asked. England nodded. "Yeah, they get that way, but they're really not so bad. But what are you doing here anyway? There's going to be a party later tonight, why didn't you come then?"

Again with this whole party thing. Alaska had mentioned it when she was asking the same question. Why hadn't he heard anything about it? Maybe he wasn't…invited? No, that couldn't be it.

"Listen, Canada, I really need to get out of here. Or rant at America. Whichever. So if you could point me in the right direction, I'll be off."

"Nah, I'll just take you to where America is. It's not too far from here. Come on."

And with that, England followed the shyer brother, gearing up for yet another rant that was almost inevitable.

**That's not a very long chapter. Sorry, but my brain is fried. I was sick pretty much all week, and then I had to catch up on a ton of school stuff, so I barely had any time to write this at all. And sorry if England or Canada are a little OOC here. That's about all.**

** Reviews are welcome…. **


	4. Chapter 4

England followed the nation down even more hallways, passing all kinds of various characters; a girl in a grass skirt, a rather snobbish looking man, a girl in a bikini top and skirt, and the list just went on. England head was beginning to spin. _So…many…Joneses…._

"England, are you alright? You look a little pale," the nation asked, though for the life of him, England couldn't remember his name. _Canu…Canuk…Canuska? Yeah, that's it._

England waved Canuska off. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. I just need to throttle America and I'll be alright."

"Then you should be happy to know that we're at his office." He gestured to a door next to him.

England pushed past the other nation, and turned the handle. The door…didn't open. He tried the handle again and pulled harder on the door but it still wouldn't budge. It was undoubtedly locked. England sighed and knocked.

"Who's there?" said a familiarly annoying voice from inside the room.

"It's me, England. Why is the door locked you git?!" England shouted.

"Because they might get in."

"Who? Wh-" Suddenly, the door opened and both England and Canuska were pulled in quickly. The door slammed behind them, and America locked it. He turned around and stared, mostly at England.

"Dude, what are you doing here?" he asked, shock very clearly heard in his voice.

"I was trying to visit. And what do I find….states! That you never even mentioned! As in, at all! Not even a passing, 'Hey, England, I forgot to tell you that I have fifty younger brothers and sisters'. Why in the bloody hell didn't you say anything?! What were you thinking?!" England shrieked. He had had it. He was so done with America. This was the last straw.

"I'm sorry, Iggy. But in my defense, you were never supposed to find out. You shouldn't have visited so early. You should have waited for the party that I was having later," America said indignantly.

"What party?! I never heard anything about a party!" England shouted.

"I was going to mail the invitations out today! It's not my fault you were being so impatient! And how was I supposed to know you were going to visit me today?! I thought you didn't like me!" America shouted back.

"I'M IMPATIENT! I A-" England began.

BOOM! The same bikini topped girl he had seen in the hallway had randomly materialized from above and knocked him to the floor.

"Hey, what's up?" she said cheerily.

"Umm," Canuska said quietly. He had been so silent during the fight that England had almost forgotten he was there. _Like he turned invisible, _he thought. "I think you're sitting on someone."

"I'm…" she said, and looked down. "Oh! I'm so sorry, dude!" Yet she made no move to get off of him.

"California," America sighed. "What were you doing in the air vent?"

"Well, see, I like saw this random stranger dude go into your office, right? But when I tried the door, it was, like, locked. And I also have to prepare an audition for a spy movie anyway, so I figured, 'What the hell!'" California said.

"Just because you were curious and wanted to practice for an audition doesn't give you the right to jump on people!" America said.

"I didn't, like, jump on him on purpose. The vent, like totally, fell through. And, anyway, I'm an artEEST, which gives me the right to do anything I want."

"Um, hello?" England mumbled, as his face was still firmly planted on the ground. "Could you be kind enough to get off of me?"

"Oh yeah, dude, sorry!" California said and promptly stepped off the nation.

England got to his feet quickly, and immediately realized that it was a bad idea. The room spun round and round, and he swayed. A green bunny flew into the room.

"Hi England!" it said.

"Flying Mint Bunny!" England cried happily. "When did you get here?"

But the thick eyebrowed nation, never heard the answer, as he promptly collapsed to the floor, unconscious.

"What's a flying mint bunny?"

"Dude, you hit him on the head!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Shouldn't we look for someplace to put him until he wakes up?"

"Yeah, good idea."

**And there's chappie 4. Yay! Wow, that was actually pretty hard to come up with. :/ Oh well. And I read over this chapter and realized that America's kind of OOC here. Sorry. Can we just assume that he's under a lot of stress with all his states there? Yeah, good? That's what I'm going to go with, anyway.**

**SO….What will happen to England next? Will he finally get out of that house? Or will he be stuck there forever? Will he ever remember who Canada is, or just keep calling him Canuska, Candania, or something else? Stay tuned to "A Visit to America" to find out! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

After a while, England regained consciousness. But he refused to open his eyes. He had the feeling that something terrible would happen if he did. And he also thought that there might be a large bump on his forehead. Gingerly, he rubbed his forehead. Yup, there was definitely a bump there. _What happened to me, _he wondered. The details of that day were still a little fuzzy to him.

Finally, he decided it was time to open his eyes. Sitting up, he glanced around the room. It was all very plain, white walls and white floors with no decorations. England himself was lying on a white couch. A small window directly in front of him depicted a pristine white mansion…wait. There wasn't a mansion like that in London. There wasn't a mansion like that in all of England. The only one he knew of that looked like that was in…oh.

England lay back down on the couch and closed his eyes, the events of the day suddenly rushing back at him. Now he remembered. One of America's states had landed on his head after falling through an air vent. He considered running out of the room, but he would only get lost like last time, he supposed. So he lay on that couch and waited for someone, or something, though he wasn't' sure if he would like it when it got there.

BANG! The door slammed open, hitting the wall. Well, it had gotten there, he supposed. England sat up again, and took in the person standing in front of him. It was a girl, with zig zaggy platinum blonde hair. Her shirt and jeans showed off way too much skin for what he considered appropriate, and large reflective sunglasses over her eyes. She was also carrying something into the room.

"Hello," he ventured. "And who might you be?"

The girl eyed him over the top of her sunglasses. "Oh, so you're awake now. Well, great. I still needed to do the other eyebrow before you woke up. Damn," she muttered.

England stared at her. The other eyebrow? What did she mean by that? He reached up and touched his eyebrows. _Nothing on the right one, _he thought….oh no. _What, what, what the bloody hell? _Suddenly, he understood what she was carrying.Half his eyebrow…was gone. There was no more top part, just skin.

Understandably, England exploded. "WHO THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO GO ABOUT WAXING SOMEONE'S EYEBROW OFF?! ARE YOU INSANE?! I CAN'T-" England screamed, only to be cut off by the girl, who held up a hand.

"Well, _excuse me. _I thought you would be overjoyed at the thought of getting those things brought to normal. How was I supposed to know you like it that way?" she retorted. England blinked, shocked. This girl actually sounded….offended.

"THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME IN AND JUST ASSUMED THAT YOU COULD WAX MY EYEBROWS! WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY?!"

"I'm Nevada. And by the way, even though you don't like it-though I can't imagine why, you're eyebrows are so damn ugly-you can't walk around all lopsided like you are. So come here, and let me fix it."

England's hand immediately shot for his right eyebrow. "IF YOU THINK THERE IS ANYWAY THAT I'M GOING TO LET YOU TOUCH THIS EYEBROW, YOU ARE MAD! GET AWAY FR-" England began, but was stopped when Nevada tackled him. She put some wax on his right eyebrow, stuck a piece of paper on it, and ripped.

"OW!" England yelled. It didn't actually hurt all that much, he was just surprised that she would do something like that.

Nevada sat back and looked at the Brit. She bit her lip and covered her mouth, trembling. Finally she burst into an extreme fit of laughter. "YOU…look...haha…so…hahaha….ridiculous! You should..Haha…held…still…hahaha!"

England stared at her. He didn't have time to figure out what she had done to his eyebrow, as he was already bolting out the door. _Forget getting lost, _he thought to himself, _I just need to get away from her!_

America and Canada looked up. They were both still in America's office, and had set England just a floor above it. The floor above currently sounded as though someone was screaming their heads off. _Probably England, _America thought.

**And there's chappie five. A whole one dedicated to the severity of the problem of England's eyebrows. I just HATE them so damn much! So this is my way of venting against it. So, sorry this didn't have much to do with the actual fic per se, except for Nevada. I just needed to get his eyebrows the way I wanted them to be, more or less. Short note this time.**

**I like reviews, so don't be shy…**

***DISCLAIMER* I do not own Hetalia in any way, shape, or form. (I wish I did, but that's another story.)**


	6. Chapter 6

England sprinted down the hallway at the speed of light. There was a large staircase on the left. As he went down it, he noticed something. He'd…been here…before. When he was talking to Texas in the very beginning. And that meant that the large grand door in front of him was…no, it couldn't be. It didn't seem real. But it was. It was the _**front door!**_

Now, instead of sprinting, England was practically skipping with relief. He was going to make it. He was going to leave this awful place behind. No crazy states. Never again.

About halfway there, he felt something grab his collar. Whatever it was began to drag him backward. England struggled forward, but it kept pulling him back. It was stronger than him, but he kept fighting. Hopefully, his collar would tear, and he could get away. He kept getting pulled back, and the door kept getting farther away. It was going…going…gone from sight.

"NOOOOOOOO!" England shrieked. _I'm never going to get out of here, _he thought. _I'm going to be stuck here. Forever._

As he was being dragged through the house, he tried in vain to memorize the turns and halls. Left, right, right, long hallway, left…oh, it was no use. He was trapped.

He also became dimly aware that the person dragging him (he was sure it was a person now) was talking about something. A picnic, or fireworks, or something along those lines. Finally, the person quit dragging him and shoved England in a room. He tripped and fell into the couch. The door closed behind him, and he turned around to see who had ruined his chance of escape.

The first thing he noticed was that she was simultaneously texting and talking into a Bluetooth. She had America's blonde hair and blue eyes exactly. Her hair was extremely short, with sunglasses perched on top of her head. Her clothes were some kind of mix between professional and casual, in a very loud pink and orange, which meant that the pink and orange room he was in must be hers as well. Anyway, this was clearly someone who was always on the go.

The girl continued to talk and text, ignoring him. This irritated the Brit to no end. She dragged him here, and it had to be for some reason other than to ignore him in the same room.

She seemed to notice this, as she stopped talking to whoever she was talking to, and put the phone away. Then she turned to face England, a lopsided grin on her face. "Hi. I'm New York. And you are?" she said brightly, extending her hand toward him.

Nervously, he took the hand and shook it. "I'm England."

Her eyes widened a little bit, but she said, "Nice to meet you. So, you're probably wondering why I dragged you here, huh?" When he nodded, she continued, "Well, we're getting ready for the picnic here, but I can't go to it wearing this, can I? I was looking for someone to help me pick out an outfit to wear, and suddenly, there you were. I've never seen you before, but it looked like you had some taste in clothing, so I took you back here. So-"

New York turned around and headed for a closet in the back. She pulled out an equally loud colored outfit, and held it up to her. "What do you think of this one?"

The nation stared at her. _Really? This is really what I'm here for? Dear lord, kill me now._

Almost an hour later, New York released him. It took forever, but he was finally free. And once again, utterly lost.

**Hey you guys. I don't really know if you remember this fic anymore, as it's been four months since I updated. Ha ha, writer's block is a pain. So sorry. Thank you for all the reviews so far though: KRRogers266, 1Destiny(every chapter so far!), Guest, HetaliaAngelGirl, Freedom, Aquarius-Otter, Thestarynight, and 9foxgrl. The support means so much, thank you! :D**

**Goodbye, and I'll see you next chapter, which will hopefully be put up soon.**

**And don't forget to leave a review. Thanks!**


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